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The only thing they all have in common is how wildly

6 Stupid Celebrities Who Are Secretly Business Geniuses

Before Kim Kardashian was so much as a burst blood vessel in Kris Humphries’ eye, Paris Hilton was the person everyone hated for being rich and famous for absolutely no reason. Well, those days are over: Paris Hilton’s family money is gone. Her asshole grandfather went and gave it all away to charity, leaving Paris with only $5 million, which isn’t even enough to buy Jean Claude Van Damme’s house. This is usually the setup for a whimsical romantic comedy in which the formerly stuck up heroine learns that money can’t buy everything, but you’ll be happy to know that Paris doesn’t need to learn that particular lesson, and probably never will. While we were all asking, “Why is she even famous?” oblivious to the irony of the fact that canada goose outlet online uk we were answering our own question, Paris was outfoxing all of us.What appeared to us to be a canada goose outlet reviews simple case of spoiled rich kids doing what spoiled rich kids do was actually a carefully crafted marketing campaign. The only reason we didn’t recognize it was because Paris wasn’t selling anything we recognized as a product she was selling herself. Every time she showed up on the red carpet, got photographed at parties, canada goose outlet parka or opened her stupid, stupid mouth, she was, quite simply, creating a brand, the same canada goose outlet store way Coca Cola or, say, Hilton Hotels does.Brendon Thorne/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images”Buy my me! Buy my me! Buy my me!”And now, that brand is worth billions. All she has to do is put her name on a product, and the next morning she finds a shiny new beachfront property under her canada goose outlet uk pillow. Her perfume alone has done over $1.8 billion in sales, and she owns 60 retail stores that sell only her products. To hear her talk about it these days, she sounds canada goose outlet canada more Warren Buffett than Jessica Simpson: “I always wake early to deal with transatlantic business calls, then there are meet and greets. Sometimes there are face to canada goose outlet black friday face business meetings where I’ll discuss the progress of certain products. Sometimes there are photoshoots or interviews. If I’m DJing, I’ll do soundchecks before a gig. It’s a rigorous schedule, but I’m a hard worker. My social channels also take work; they’re very considered.”Valerie Macon/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images It’s worth it to hear the crowd go crazy after she unleashes her patented “Volume Up” maneuver.And canada goose outlet toronto factory yeah, that DJing stuff? She can make a million dollars a night just to show up at a party and put on some tunes. Between Chairman Of The Board and an unflattering cameo in The Hangover’s end credits, Carrot Top has enjoyed the kind of career that, best case canada goose outlet new york city scenario, ends in a casino buffet. So it should come as canada goose outlet sale no surprise that he’s spent the last decade headlining the Luxor in Las Vegas, where he no doubt has eaten at least a few plates of complimentary breakfast. However, what is surprising is the fact that Carrot Top has made $75 million doing it.That’s right Carrot Top is a goddamned Vegas sensation, with tickets to his shows going for $50 a pop, and those are just the cheap seats. As it turns out, while people like us were busy making fun of him, Carrot Top was working his ass off he has performed for 3 million people since 1987, which means, on average, 100,000 people have gone to see Carrot Top every canada goose black friday sale year for the past three decades. For comparison, Madonna has performed for a little less than 10 million people over just about the same time period., Antony Jones/UK Press/Getty Images To canada goose outlet store uk further canada goose outlet nyc compare, both also have muscles that make absolutely no goddamn sense.With a draw like that, it’s no surprise that the Luxor renewed his contract for another six years back in 2009. He’s turned what is usually a humiliating defeat into an unquestioned reign over a mountain of money, and he couldn’t be happier about it: “I love Vegas,” he told Las Vegas Weekly. canada goose outlet uk sale “I have a house here. My mom lives here now. My girlfriend is out here now. I get to go onstage every night and do a show and then go home.Dualstar Entertainment / Warner Bros. Pictures canada goose outlet online Named for how long it took every theater on Earth to replace it with Soul Plane.The next year, Mary Kate and Ashley decided to get into big girl fashion by launching their first adult label, The Row. Walking around the East Village looking like trendy methadone patients was a look that appealed to enough people that The Row beat out veteran Marc canada goose jacket outlet Jacobs for a fancy pants award a few years ago. They’ve since launched several more fashion lines, which were estimated to be worth a total of $1 billion in 2012. That’s two empires the Olsen Twins canada goose factory outlet have built before age 30, which can canada goose outlet shop only mean some kind of malebolgian twin magic is at work.Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty ImagesThey have 300 million reasons goose outlet canada to never return a Full House phone call ever again.David Becker/Getty Images News/Getty ImagesYou might not call 50 Cent dumb, but you also probably wouldn’t expect a former crack dealer who attracts bullets like a tin can on a shooting range to make the shrewdest financial decisions. He’s also made some less than stellar acting choices Get Rich Or Die official canada goose outlet Tryin’ (Fiddy’s 8 Mile) and Escape Plan made a combined domestic box office total of $56 million, which is less than what America spent to see Honey, I Blew Up The Kid.Consequently, you would be shocked how many successful companies 50 Cent owns. Fiddy’s investment portfolio looks like the Amazon homepage, including companies that sell energy drinks, underwear, and headphones, and that are involved in fucking NASCAR sponsorships. The only thing they all have in common is how wildly successful they are. That’s not an accident: It turns out he’s amazing at spotting the http://www.canadagoosecanadaoutlet.com opportunities nobody else does. When he told his manager he wanted to sell water, his manager was certain the rapper must have fallen headfirst down a staircase, but Fiddy rationalized, canada goose outlet in usa “[Water] is the top selling beverage, and it’s consumed where music is played.” The company he chose, a little thing called Vitamin Water, was later bought by Coca Cola for $4.1 billion.M. Phillips/WireImage/Getty ImagesI’ll take you to the candy shopHe’s great at not just choosing companies but also at hooking those canada goose outlet companies up with each other, multiplying his money in the process. One of his latest ventures includes Star Wars themed headsets, in collaboration with Lucasfilm and canada goose outlet his SMS Audio headphone line, because even someone as slick as 50 Cent recognizes the value of slapping Star Wars characters onto plastic accessories.Engadget His version of Beats is reserved for anyone who requests an Ewok theme.Unfortunately, the prescience of Fiddy’s investments do not always extend to his creative endeavors he recently filed for bankruptcy protection in response to a lawsuit filed against him by a woman featured in a sex tape, which Fiddy leaked online along with “hilarious” commentary from his character “Pimpin’ Curly.”.

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